INSIDE IS WHERE THE REAL IS LOCATED

I believe in so much these days. Whole heartedly , anything is possible in a reasonable sense I reckon’.

I often sit back and think about how unnecessary my life seems to be. Well to me at least. Like I’m convinced im here as an example of everything bad about life. These days im scared to enjoy a good day because I know the typical thing for me is for so much good happening, some bad has to fit in there. Don’t let me think I’m getting two steps forward, im gonna get knocked 10 steps back in no time. I like to think I’m being so positive though, then I think , my positive attitude only covers my deep depression, in hopes that something good can happen and not be temporary. I wonder, I feel like if I developed a good attitude about bad situations and finding the good in everything, it’ll all turn around but then I guess not right, as I take a good look at my life. Yes , good has happened to me. And I’m so grateful , more grateful than most because they don’t come often. So I beg and pray , please prove me wrong.
I say I’m ok but am I really? Am I still just saying whatever it is to get you out of my face and keep my business to myself,? Im trying I promise. Outsiders wouldn’t think , and some people that think they know me well don’t know me at all. Not that I’m someone im not , it’s just a part you’d rather keep to yourself because it benefits you none to have to explain how much I hate life and that im only here because a part of me believes I can have a good one and the other part knows how selfish it would be to end it Everytime I felt like it. Still ,, you don’t know it all. But maybe you do. I learn new things about myself daily, how can you know me.
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